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There are people out pussu trying to rewrite our history. These are a dangerous people. Someday, some little Latina with a big mouth is gonna read a few books and convince themselves they contributed to our country. Because if they do, God help us all.

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John Leguizamo! No, no, no, no, Any sexy LaGrange girls ill help. Settle. No, no, settle. Shoot those red bastards. Shoot those savages. Pow, pow. We Latin people are mostly Indian, man. So then I find out that my son is being bullied at school by one of his eighth-grade classmates.

I come from a long line of captains and generals from the Civil War — so you better start running away so Mii can shoot you in the back, beaner.

Hey, look, while I have Latin pussy im mi in, um… your kid called my son a.

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I had no idea my boy had called your son a beaner. John, my family donates pusxy the diversity program every year, John. I come from a Latin pussy im mi in, long line of philanthropreneurs. I come from a long line. A long line of people who, um— You know, yo, diversity?

Yo, how you sound, man? You know me, huh?

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You know me? Fuck, man, I lost my shit.

But not my son, no. My son is one of those super-super-sweet shy kids with an IQ seven points short of genius. But how could I, man? No Latin ones. And where should I have learned that shit? Holla, New York City public-school. So, yo, in Latiin to help Latin pussy im mi in son… I realized that I was gonna have to get to the root of my problem — feeling like a second-class citizen, im I Latin pussy im mi in flashing back through my life, to my child— back in time.

Oh, God! Too far back! Please play forward! So much better.

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Latin pussy im mi in I am in my junior high school — IS It was like Lord of the Flies, but with a lot less adult supervision. And my psusy teacher, Mr.

Flynn… was a mean, sadistic son of a bitch. And he had a rear-view New Caledonia sluts com on the blackboard. All right, I pssy you standing. Sit down before I staple your ass to the chair.

Open up your history textbooks to a chapter you will become familiar with in life — chapter All right, shut up, class.

Now, class, what did the Greeks contribute to the world besides feta cheese? That was your mother. Ooh, ooh. Legizmo, you wanna know what these people have contributed to this country? Drugs and violence.

Now sit your ignorant ass. Flynn, why you gotta do me like that?

History textbooks, movies, television. No, because it would ruin the moment when you figure it out all by.

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Luckily for me, my uncle did teach me about our Latin time linewhich I wanna share with you, and hot collection escort london is Mayans at B.

What is it, the age of Pitbull, Latin pussy im mi in How did we become so goddamn nonexistent? After the conquistadors enslaved all the Indians, and they died off, they i, black people to fill in they vacancies.

So we are definitely blackified. Shit, I bet you are. I bet you I could prove it. Come on. And that is un Latino people.

Eighth grade on cable TV? I love me that dude. The Great Lakes arrived.

And then Texas is like a dried-up udder. So big. I like. I could draw that ass all day.

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Nobody really cares. We have Cuba.

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And Haiti. Puerto Rico. Then all these little islands here like little mojoncitos. Until… the great… extermination.

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Sir, you look very intelligent. What is it?

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Ushers, ojo. And, yo, this genocide really fucked me up, man. You ask. Thank you for asking. But now I know why.

But, yo, my resentment was not totally unjustified, because our ancestral wealth, our inheritance, our gold was stolen from us.

And, yo, we had tons and tons of beautiful, sophisticated, museum-type treasures until they came here— Okay, time-out. Historic footnote time, people.

You, sir. You trying to be sneaky by yessing me?

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You better shape up. It would make a lovely marble kitchen counter. Yeah, I got your savage right here, buddy. Up. So, yo… This King Philip of Spain was always shitting on us, man.

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Who would have thought that colonization could be so much fun? Hey, yo, I-I-I… This was the biggest theft in all of history. I want my reparations, motherfuckers. Can you talk to him?

Can you please not mess this up? No, you do you. I got it.